People Everywhere: Things That Transcend Culture

As I talked about in the last post, when I am in a new culture, I spend a long time trying to work out social norms.  I try to work out what is their culture and should be accepted, what is just an individual and should be accepted, what is their culture and should be challenged and what is just an individual and should be challenged. 

What I have discovered, and makes me fall in love again with the Word of God, is that the Bible is such an amazing guide of humanness.  It points to things that transcend culture.  Although clothed in culture, God’s word demonstrates needs that are in all of us and things that are ‘normal’ for those who are children of God. 

Obvious, non-obvious things I have discovered: 

People (men, women, and children) everywhere want to be recognised and valued.  They appreciate feedback on what they are doing well.  They crave a ‘well done.’  Just because a person seems reserved and unemotional does not mean that they don’t need those things. 

People (men, women, and children) everywhere have a need for physical touch. Even the cultures that seem stand-offish have a deep desire and find pleasure in being recognised physically by those they trust. 

People (men, women, and children) everywhere feel insecure at times.  Even pride is a form of insecurity that the ‘real you’ might be discovered. 

People (men, women, and children) want to be included in some sort of community.  They may not wish to be in constant contact with people and may prefer to be off reading a book somewhere, but at some point, they need others, and even book-readers need to know that others are there if they want them. 

People (men, women, and children) everywhere appreciate kind, gentle words.  They can see through and resist proud people and are attracted to humble people.  Although shame may work as a motivator in many (*all) cultures, it is not empowering for anyone and only stifles creativity and freedom.  

People (men, women, children) do not like to be told what to do.  Everyone appreciates clear communication, but no one likes being bossed around by others and made to feel like a servant (even if they are one).

People (men, women, children) everywhere need love.  They need 1 Corinthians 13 love that is patient, kind, uplifting, not envious or self-seeking.  They need people who will forgive quickly, believe in them and celebrate with them.   

People (men, women, children) everywhere appreciate a warm smile and food from their childhood.  

People (men, women, children) everywhere need ways to celebrate, to relax and to recognise their worth is in who they are and not in what they do. 

It seems so obvious, but it is so often forgotten - there are things that are universal and make us ‘human‘ and they can be found anywhere and everywhere.  For me that just points once more to a Beautiful, Creative, Feeling, Freeing, Loving God. 

Even in the jungle...

By midday I was feeling uncomfortable and trying to work out why.  I know God has me here in the jungle for a reason, but maybe it was not for what I imagined. (Again?!).  

My body got fed up long before my mind did and I was wondering why I was feeling so awkward.  Finally, I realised that the wooden benches and concrete or dirt floors were making me physically uncomfortable, but perhaps they just mirrored what was going on in my mind.   

I feel like a foreigner again.  Yes, I have been with the Shipibos many a time.  There is nothing overtly ‘new’ about them, but yet I am still so foreign to their ways. I am still unaware of what is ‘normal’ behaviour or just an individual acting out of the accepted norm. And it is uncomfortable to feel like an outsider. 

Is picking lice out of one another’s hair acceptable ‘normal’ behaviour or normally ‘done-in-private’ behaviour? Is a toddler walking around with no clothes on his bottom half a practicality for an un-toilet-trained tot or a result of Mum’s ability to keep up with the laundry (or did he escape before his mother could dress him properly)?  Do the mothers mind me photographing their children? What do the giggles mean? 

And reflecting with the ladies in group time, I find myself wanting to get to a point, to move the conversation in a certain direction, impatient and frustrated with the limitations of translation, trying to understand and empathize but wondering if that is even possible.  

Talking with Mark this evening, I realise how driven I am by efficiency.  My life in Lima has to be super efficient to get everything done and to give different people the time they need. Our week is so scheduled, even my ‘free’ time comes in one or two hour slots.  Today we spent 8 hours in the village and I was only ‘being effective’ for 2.5 hours of that time leading group time.  The other hours were spent chasing Kaleb around the village, taking photos, listening to the main sessions and hanging out with the Shipibo women and children.  And yes, even as I write I know that those things matter too - I just am not used to jungle pace and jungle life, which is so contrary to my time-slot existence. 

And in Lima our life is so scheduled and tight that I have to make every hour count.  I have to take every opportunity and choose to engage with the children and our team whenever I can because it is so often now or never. We have chosen our priorities so as to maximise our potential, and sitting on a wooden bench getting a sore bum, seems such a...waste!
(Perhaps the other problem is that it gives me too much time to reflect!) 

And yet as I do reflect I know that even in a foreign place surrounded by foreign people there are things I know to be true that I need to still practice: gratitude; chatting with God throughout the day; taking those moments I remember to pray; being present in the moment rather than allowing my mind to rush off.  I need to remember that God’s presence and His ability to answer my prayers is the same, so my faith should be the same too.  I need to remind myself that it is good to be part of a team, to slow down and that my value is not in what I do, but in who I am in Christ. 

So, Jesus, I am sorry when I have believed it is all about me when it should be all about you.  Thank you that you are the same here, there and everywhere. Help me to remember the foundational things. May tomorrow be all about You. 

This week's Inspiration...

In those moments when dreams seem close but yet so far...

http://www.shaunwissmann.com/2013/03/25/empty-bottle-men-and-little-princesses/

In those moments when I am having to trust my children into His hands...

http://practicingfamilies.com/2013/03/22/to-commend-the-parents-leap-of-trust/

In those moments when I am tempted to ask why or to cry (or both)...

http://blog.lproof.org/2013/04/sadness-and-madness.html

In those moments when I am tempted to give my own opinion...

http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/04/12/how-to-be-a-person-that-shares-more-wisdom-than-advice/

In those moments when I am thinking about how blogging can promote community…

http://www.chattingatthesky.com/2010/05/27/the-bench/

In those moments when I am thinking about what community looks like as an introvert...

http://sarahbessey.com/in-which-i-have-circles-of-friendship-and-a-lobster/

Don't Remember. Feel.

Two weeks ago we took a trip with a team to the jungle town of Pucallpa where Mark and I oversee several Shipibo (Peruvian indigenous people) churches and their leaders.  I was looking forward to being with the team, seeing the women and children there and seeing my own children enjoying the wonders of the jungle life which they always love.  Mark goes to Pucallpa every month, but for cost and effectiveness reasons we have decided to just go as a family once a year.   I went to look after my children and allow them to be part of the mission trip. I didn’t expect God to speak to me in the way He did... 

'No Recuerdes - Siente'

'Don’t Remember - Feel.' 

The graffiti on the wall blurred as we sped past in a motortaxi.  My mind, like the air, was muggy and dusty and I knew that that was what God was telling me I needed to do after the conversation we had had with the Shipibo leaders the day before.  He needed me to keep feeling what I felt.  To not become hardened. 

The jungle town of Pucallpa in many ways feels like a second home.  Mark and I always talk about going and living there for a time whenever we go, and know that at some point down the line it will probably happen.  I love the people there - their warmth and hugs and the way they are so hungry for a touch of God.  I love that the moths are ten times larger than the ones in my garden, that the rain comes suddenly and that the ladies and children break out into laughter when we jump at a spider or a cockroach.  I love the simplicity of the life there and the simplicity of their hearts.  

But the meeting the day before had left me shaken.  Five Shipibo church leaders and their wives (minus one who couldn’t attend) sat in our hotel lounge, because the rain had prevented us from meeting in their village.  Mark told them they could tell us or ask us anything they needed too.  

Casilda spoke up.  Shipibo women rarely speak out loud in Spanish in a group situation. They feel more comfortable letting their husbands translate from Shipibo for them. She looked at me straight:  When are you coming to teach us, the women? We need discipleship.  We need input.  We need to know how we can disciple other women.  When will you, Anna, come and teach us? 

I looked around the room for an answer.  Someone who could teach them.   

I could hear the hunger in her heart and knew she was not alone.  That she spoke on behalf of many of the women there.  

I knew that she was right.  That they needed teaching or even time, availability from other women walking what they wanted to walk.  I knew that I had to be willing.  Or at least I knew the Holy Spirit was asking me: And you? Are you willing? 

I told her: I am willing.  But I don’t know how with three young children running about. 
I told her: Pray.  I am willing, but it is just not that easy with a 1.5 year old who is picky about who he is with and who is a bundle of action and exploration. 

She came to me at the end of the meeting again.  With her beautiful smile, her extravagant but shy hugs, her friendship and her eyes which tell me of her desire to be known.  Our hearts are already connected from a previous trip when she had shared her story. 

I told her again that I would pray and think about it.  That she needed to pray. 

She must have prayed.  She must have prayed hard. 

Next week Mark and I are returning to the jungle with Kaleb, our youngest.  The eldest two are staying at home with Lili (the first time I have left them for that long), and Miriam, our German intern who is living with us (so Kaleb knows and loves!) has agreed to help us out with Kaleb so I can lead the key women.  

And I know that God wants to do something special in the hearts of those women.  He sees their desire to learn and know how to disciple others.  Are there not questions in all of us women which ask for that affirmation? Don’t we desire that equipping to move forward and have our destiny called out? 

And it was feeling her heart - seeing the potential that there is in those women that makes my heart love them and want to find a way to teach them.  Not because I feel like I have a banquet to offer - but because I know I have bread today and they are crying out for spiritual crumbs and I can’t say anything but ‘yes‘ when I look at the roll in my own hands.   

Because I don’t just remember the Shipibo women. I feel them in my heart and I want to see them beginning to walk in their destiny as beautiful daughters of God. 

Please...Pray for us...